By Alex Melara
Motlow Buzz Contributing Writer
I’ve often wondered what beauty really is. The concept seems pretty simple. However, it is truly a complex aspect of life.
Beauty can have a plethora of different meanings, which might make it hard to find someone who views beauty in the same way. As for myself, I didn’t understand what beauty was until I took the time to try and understand what beauty means to others and how they view life.
This journey has helped me to define beauty as confidence. It isn’t confidence in what you wear, or how much you weigh. Confidence doesn’t mean that you have to look like the current trending celebrity. Beauty is confidence in your own self-worth. No one can define it but you. No one can define you for who you are, unless you give others the power to speak for you.
“Beauty means confidence. It means compassion. It means Strength,” according to Paloma Diaz, a student at Motlow State Community College.
I realize that talk is cheap, and it’s a long and tedious journey to self-love. I myself have gone through it. For many different years, I have found myself hating the way I look. It’s a story I would love to tell, but a nightmare I still struggle with. I have spent a lot of time, money and energy trying to get my skin to be perfect and my clothes to be stylish. But I’ve found that when you look at yourself in the mirror the only thing that matters is how you feel about yourself.
Kate Hatch, a student at Middle Tennessee State University, is someone whom I admire because of the way she expresses self-love all over her social media sites. This is what she had to say.
“I have found beauty in a person’s dark eyes when he talks about his passion,” she said “I see beauty in a laugh. I see beauty in a young man playing with his children, or a woman hiking a mountain. I see beauty in the extraordinary parts of a person.”
I can’t give myself a magical answer on how to love yourself for who you are. I haven’t found the all-knowing guide book on self-confidence. Such a thing simply does not exist. But I can give you one piece of advice, something that really does work for me. Stop caring about what others say, and stop caring about the latest trends. Trends will change before you even have the chance to mold yourself to the current one. Stop judging the flaws that you think you see in the mirror, and become an admirer of the true beauty that is. Stop frowning and start smiling. Stop listening to others and taking what they say to heart. Instead, start listening to yourself!
Towards the end of my junior year of high school, I struggled with coming to terms with my sexuality. Junior year was a time that I heavily focused on what other had to say about me. But it wasn’t until I finally decided to be comfortable in my own skin, with my own body, and my own thoughts that I realized what I had been doing to hurt myself in the long run. It hit me like a wave, like a tsunami filled with eye opening revelations. Not only did this moment come to me because I was open to it, but it came to me because I was truly willing to make a change. Allow yourself to have this opportunity, to have that peace of mind.
You can still take care of yourself, and as a matter of fact, please do! Just don’t be too quick to jump from ship to ship just because of a trending hashtag. I’m still trying to keep up with some trends, and I will always have a passion for fashion. I’m human, and I adore having people say that I look nice. There’s nothing wrong with wanting people to compliment you. I still dream of having the ideal body and perfect hair. These things that can be viewed in many different ways.
“There is such a diverse amount of people in the world, that as one thing is claimed beautiful another thing loses that title,” noted Marissa Davis, a retail associate at Torrid. “With that being said, people who hold that specific characteristic become insecure and have to take the time to find something new that they love about themselves.”
I have come to a blessed point in my life, a point in which I refuse to let myself hurt. These are insignificant, yet oh so powerful words. I have made a vow to myself that I will not starve for my body. I will not stop wearing something I love just because it’s not the biggest thing selling in stores. But I will carry myself in a manner that leads others to believe that I do. I will walk with confidence and pretend like people love the way I look. I will not allow them to give power to those horrible things. My biggest hope is that this change I have made within me will manifest itself in others. My dream is that you, too, will walk around with your head held high.
“I would like for beauty to be simple and not so complex, ” said Bailee Sherrill, a customer at Hollister Co. “We make beauty fit in a category like a box, and if you aren’t in that box, you aren’t beautiful. I wish beauty could be what God made it to be and that is simply what we are.”
Song of Solomon 4:7 states, “You are altogether beautiful my darling, there is no flaw in you.”
“This speaks to me because this is what God truly meant to every single one of us,” Sherrill added.
So I beg of you to stop focusing on trends and stop asking what your beauty means to others. Instead of asking them, start telling them. Show the world your beauty, and it will accept it. Let’s make a pact and effort to stop paying attention to trending hashtags and create our own. Use #ConfidenceBeautyLove the next time you question whether you look beautiful in a picture just because others might not like it. Do this when you see yourself being truly happy. Do this even when you’re doubting it, and let others give you the courage that you lack in that moment of need. Just remember that you shine brighter than even the darkest of shadows, because even the darkest of shadows will accept your beauty.
(My name is Alex Melara and I’m a Mass Communication student at Motlow State Community College, a brand representative at Hollister Co., and an advocate for self-love.)
Here are some helpful likes on building confidence:
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