Something That We All Should Ask Ourselves

By Bill Kraus

Motlow Buzz Contributing Writer

 (Dr. William H. "Bill" Kraus has served Motlow as a professor of Political Science since 2005. He also serves as a Writing Center tutor.) 

         This prose was written by a dying 85-year-old man who imagined how he would have lived his life differently if given the chance. It is found in the book "Living, Loving & Learning" by Leo Buscaglia, who discovered it in an issue of the Journal of Humanistic Psychology.

         As we get older, we are more likely to ask the question, "If I had to do it over again," and look to the past in reflection. Yet, I would urge all, regardless of your age, to review what you have done and what you are currently doing, to determine whether you are doing the very best that you can. Please take a moment or two to read the following prose that has been in my file for a long, long time. It has served as a guidepost for me to take stock, from time to time, to adjust what I am doing, what I am planning, and what I am hoping for tomorrow.

Bill Kraus

"If I Had It To Do Over Again"

(Following are observations from a man who was dying and accepting his death. His prose was originally published in the Journal of Humanistic Psychology.)

         "If I had my life to live over again, I'd try to make more mistakes next time. I wouldn't try to be so perfect. I would relax more. I'd limber up. I'd be sillier than I've been on this trip. In fact, I know very few things that I would take so seriously. I'd be crazier. I'd be less hygienic. I'd take more chances. I'd take more trips. I'd climb more mountains. I'd swim more rivers. I'd watch more sunsets. I'd go more places I've never been to. I'd eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I'd have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.

         You see, I was one of those people who lived prophylactically and sensibly and sanely hour after hour and day after day. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had it to do all over again, I'd have more of those moments. In fact, I'd try to have nothing but beautiful moments -- moment by moment by moment.

         I've been one of those people who never went anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it all over again, I'd travel lighter next time. If I had to do it all over again, I'd start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I'd ride more merry-go-rounds, I'd watch more sunrises, and I'd play with more children, if I had my life to live over again.

         But you see, I don't."