Becoming Secure in Your Body Builds a Better You

                                                  

 By Olivia Paris
Motlow Buzz Contributing Writer 

Feeling secure in your body is a tough goal to accomplish in today’s society. The sizes   seem to keep getting smaller and smaller, but I just seem to get bigger and bigger.

A girl’s confidence can be shot in a simple comment that has been made. It is very important to always keep your head up and do not let anybody get to you. It is good to stay mentally tough and focus on making yourself better.

      Being able to feel comfortable in your own skin these days seems impossible. Between all the new beauty trends and kids-size clothes, it makes shopping nearly impossible. Even when you do find an outfit to your liking, the stores rarely have the size you need, but smalls and extra smalls are always in stock. It seems that the designers are trying to say something to the curvier women.

 I recently lost 80 pounds, starting at 225 and now 145. Even with this drastic change in my life, I still do not feel totally comfortable in my skin. Yes, I can fit into more clothes than I could before, but there is still that insecurity of everyone staring at me when I walk into a room. I was so used to being the fat friend- the one who could never share clothes with anyone else. I just always felt kind of left out.    

 Now that I am at a good healthy size, what’s wrong with me? Why don’t I feel comfortable? These are questions I ask myself every day.

 I’m not the same size as I used to be, but I do have the same mentality as I did before. It is very common for women who are losing weight to not focus on the person they are becoming but rather stick with the same mentality as before. One thing I struggle with is keeping up my body positivity. What other people see as looking good may be what you think of as fat. No one spends more time looking at their body in the mirror than women. I stand there for a while pointing out every flaw I see, the freckles all over to cellulite on my legs. It is all tiny stuff that only matters to me, but I feel like everyone else notices, too.

When I first lost my weight, I continued to think the same until I embraced the change I was headed for. I haven’t looked back since. Now more than ever, I am comfortable with eating food in public, while before I would starve myself or eat really small portions of food so people wouldn’t think I was over eating. I feel comfortable wearing shorts and tank tops now. In today’s society, times are changing where being stick thin isn’t defined as a perfect body. It’s okay to have curves and a little meat on your bones. There is no reason to be ashamed ever. Women are most beautiful when they are full of confidence and know that they are beautiful no matter what.

I talked to some girls around campus trying to get their idea on body positivity and how it has affected them. Most of them had the same opinion as me. It is very hard for women to feel comfortable in their body, with all the images of what we are expected to look like around at all times. Bailey Howell, who attends the Fayetteville campus, said,“ Men just continue to make us feel like we aren’t good enough when they are posting a ‘woman crush Wednesday’(WCW) of a perfect model and not something realistic.”

 Things like this are what make us think we are not beautiful. Bailey has lost 50 pounds and knows the feeling of losing a good amount of weight. Bailey also said, “Losing my weight helped make me feel good about myself, but I also had to focus on my mental health.” 

Just because you are good physically does not mean you are okay mentally. Mental health is a big part of confidence. If you are not taking care of yourself and staying negative all the time, it will not get better. It is good to stay positive and read motivational quotes to keep you going and on the right track.  One quote I love is. “ A Goal without a Plan is Just a Wish”

           In an article titled “10 Ways to Feel Better About Your Body Right Now, ” Julia Ranallo provided amazing advice that helped me get through my struggle. Throughout the article she tells her story and provides great points, but one thing mainly popped out to me. Point number nine says not to compare yourself to others. This is something everyone does all the time. You compare yourself to the girl beside you or the one on television. It is insanely hard not to do that in today’s world. Everything is coming out new and fresh, but you still seem to feel the same.

Once I realized I would never be the models I saw on television or in magazines, I started to feel some relief. There was not as much pressure to be small in mind. I mean of course I was still working towards losing weight, but I was doing it for the right reasons now and not just because I wanted to fit in. Even at my biggest, I was finally starting to become secure in my body because I wasn’t caring what people thought about me anymore. I was happy with myself, and that is all that really matters.

Julia Ranallo’s article really showed me I could have way more body confidence than I thought, and I will be forever grateful. To read her article, visit

http://www.seventeen.com/health/a31443/ten-commandments-to-achieving-body-confidence/.

            In another article titled “Body Confidence” written by Girls with Curves, the writer shares seven tips on how to overcome the challenges women face. My favorite one is to “stop badmouthing celebrities,” which is so true. We find it so easy to gossip about a celebrity we see in a magazine that is looking good. Yet we decide to badmouth them and point out every flaw we see. We are so quick to judge others, but we don’t think about the aftermath. Celebrities are just like us, but their lives are lived in the public eye. They have to deal with hearing all the criticism or hate that people send their way.

 I personally would never be secure in my body if I were to be constantly reminded of my flaws every day through comments on social media sites.  We need to start with the little things. By belittling others, we are still belittling ourselves. It is okay if you do not look like the people in magazines. You are you, and that is the most beautiful person you can be. Read the Girls with Curves article at  https://girlwithcurves.com/body-confidence-tips.

For more information on body confidence, please click the links below:

http://puttylike.com/why-you-lose-your-personality/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201407/10-ways-feel-better-about-how-you-look

https://www.prevention.com/weight-loss/weight-loss-tips/instant-ways-boost-your-body-image

My name is Olivia Paris. I currently attend Motlow State Community College. I enjoy spending time with family and reading different books. I am just trying to get to know myself better and help other people that face the same problems as me.

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